Do you find making friends uncomfortable or feel like you’re socially awkward? It may feel like your the only one, but the truth is that lots of people have the exact same struggle with their shyness.
You may think you will never be able to overcome it but you can learn how to be more confident and enjoy interrating with others.
You don’t have to change who you are, it is just a matter of simply learning new skills and creating a different outlook.
Here are a few things you can adopt into your life;
Tackling social insecurity and fear
The things we tell ourselves make a huge impact on how we feel and our confidence like;
- Believing that you’re boring, unlikeable, or weird.
- Believing that other people are evaluating and judging you in social situations.
- Believing that you’ll be rejected and criticized if you make a social mistake.
- Believing that being rejected or socially embarrassed would be awful and devastating.
- Believing that what others think about you defines who you are.
But it is not as simple as that…
People aren’t thinking about you, most people are caught up in their own lives and concerns and people are much more tolerant than you think. So what about that embarrassing thing that might have happened to you? Most people will just ignore it and move on. When you realize that social mistakes don’t have to be devastating, it’s a lot easier to put yourself out there.
You have to learn to accept and love yourself!
You you realised that people are not worrying or judging you on everything you do then you will be able feel less socially nervous. You don’t have to be perfect to be like and actually the little quicks we have can be quite endearing to others. It’s ok to make mistakes, after all it is part of being a human. Try not to give up straight away or value yourself less.
When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, just stop a challenge it, think of something you’re great at or something you admire about you. It will help begin that self changing process.
Building Social Skills
Being able to use your social skills take time and practice, there’s no shortcut. Just start of small and build it up from there. Smile at someone you pass on the street, compliment someone you encounter during your day, ask someone a casual question, start a conversation with a friendly cashier, receptionist, waiter etc.
Tips for developing social confidence
Fake it till you make it- if you project confidence people will responde positively to that and acting like your confident can actually hellp you become confident.
Focus more externally- stop being so much in your head, thinking about how others see or thinkg of you. Try to focus more on the other person, you’ll be in that moment and become less self-concious.
Laugh at yourself- Whenever you do something embarressing, learn to find the humour in it, laugh and move on.
Do things to help others- If you go out of your way to brighten someone else’s day, even with something small like a smile or a compliment spreading that positivity will make you feel better about yourself.
Tips to make conversations
Make a remark on your surrounding areas or occasion- say something positive about whats going on like ‘I love this song’ or ‘the food is great, have you tried some?’
Ask open-ended questions- Things that require more than just a yes or no answer. Use the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why or How) great way to get people talking about themselves and keep the conversation flowing.
Compliment- Things like ‘I love your bag, where did you get it?’ or ‘you look like your familiar with this, can you help?’
If you find you’ve anything in common, ask follow up questions- ‘I love comedies, who’s your favourite actor?’
Keep it flowing with small talk- Stick to light subjects like the weather, movies, your surroundings. Try and avoid heavy topics like religion or politics.
Listen- Good communication is when you actually take in what the other person is saying and responde accordingly. Look interested, encourage the other person to continue, nod occasionly or say the odd ‘yeah’.
So there are a few ways to try and become that social butterfly we all know you can be just remeber to try and not take things to personally, keep them in perspective and don’t dwell on mistakes. It is a waste of time and causes too much unneccessary negative energy.